Comment of the Week: I Realize That I Can't Remove Fate

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By Jill—Unnecesarean

Dana left this comment on the September 20 open thread.

I shared this thought the other day on my FB page, in a less than coherent manner. I heard a stat on NPR, that of all drivers who survived fatal car accidents, those that were innocent in the crash were more likely to to suffer PTSD. A doctor (a psychologist, I think) explained that it was because these survivors had to face the fact that they were at the mercy of fate. I had birth-related PTSD following the birth of my son 17 months ago. In a few words, the show explained to me why my feelings of failure were so acute, and why for so long I have felt that my next birth will be a planned c-section — I “failed” at birth because I couldn’t control the process, but I could more easily control it if I choose to override it, to opt out of it from the beginning. I wanted to take fate out of the equation. It took me 17 months to figure that out, and now that I have, I realize that I CAN’T remove fate. It’s scary, but it’s liberating.